GROSS Operation SIAM
by THE Elvenking
Summary: Club G.R.O.S.S. has yet another mission. Will they succeed?


G.R.O.S.S. Operation S.I.A.M.  
  
Susie  
  
Is  
  
A  
  
Moron  
  
"G.R.O.S.S. meeting began at 10:04 PM, Eastern Standard Time. Dictator-For- Life Calvin was greeted by throngs of applause, as was President and First Tiger Hobbes." Hobbes began his lengthy narration of the meeting of club G.R.O.S.S.  
  
"Thank you, President and First Tiger Hobbes." Calvin stated. "The first issue on the floor today is our top enemy."  
  
"The Dictator-For-Life's proposal was met with favor from the floor. None dared oppose his resolve."  
  
"I assume that you all know who I'm talking about."  
  
"Dictator-For-Life Calvin then began using words his speech writer, also known as the President and First Tiger, prepared for him the other day."  
  
"Now, then, Susie is no longer our enemy. I, personally, should rush over and kiss her and hold her and- HOBBES!"  
  
"Who, me?"  
  
"Forget the speech."  
  
"In an unforeseen move, the Dictator-For-Life abandoned all logic in a heretic move."  
  
"Ugh. Let's just begin mission S.I.A.M."  
  
"We're going to the Orient?"  
  
"HOBBES!"  
  
"Another great meeting."  
  
The two leaders of Club Get Rid Of Slimy girlS climbed down the rope ladder and raced into Calvin's room. When they arrived, another argument ensued.  
  
"Hobbes, you mangy fleabag, you deliberately made sure I ran into the door!"  
  
"Oh, and pouncing on my back wasn't a problem?"  
  
"That wasn't me!"  
  
"Yes it was!"  
  
"No it wasn't!"  
  
"Yes it was!"  
  
"No it wasn't!"  
  
"No it wasn't!"  
  
"Yes, it was!"  
  
"Okay, you win. It was you."  
  
"Ha! I was right, as usual." Calvin boasted. "Now then, Hobbes, you need to draw out the map of the region of operation for mission S.I.A.M. I will prepare the water balloons."  
  
"All right. This is Canada. This is Florida." Hobbes began, narrating as he drew.  
  
"Hobbes, can you do that quietly?" Calvin requested in a forceful manner.  
  
"Fine." Hobbes sighed.  
  
Ten minutes later, their scheme was complete. And they ran. By Hobbes' map, they wound up in the treehouse after twenty intensive minutes of running.  
  
"All right, Calvin, now we run ahead!"  
  
Calvin and Hobbes ran straight ahead, and wound up in Calvin's room.  
  
"HOBBES! WE'RE BACK IN MY ROOM!"  
  
"I know."  
  
"Why are we back in my room?"  
  
"Because the operation was a success."  
  
"We haven't done the operation."  
  
"Oops. I knew I forgot something."  
  
A massive noise filled Calvin's hometown as he slapped his forehead. Hobbes drew in an x onto his map.  
  
"All right, x is where we attack!"  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
The two ran outside again, and went to the process of running for ten more minutes. Finally, a very exhausted boy and his tiger had arrived at Susie's house.  
  
"FIRE!" Calvin screeched, and Calvin and Hobbes began throwing water balloons at Susie. However, Calvin had forgotten to make sure that Susie was there.  
  
Susie crept around behind them, and stuck a pin into one of the twenty water balloons Calvin and Hobbes had brought with them in their wagon. Unfortunately, Susie was clear of the area when the balloons exploded.  
  
"Oh, no!" Calvin screeched. He was soaked down to the bone.  
  
"I'm a tiger! Tigers don't like getting wet!" Hobbes protested.  
  
"RETREAT!" The boy and the tiger both screamed, and ran back to Calvin's house, wagon blazing behind them as Hobbes desperately held on.  
  
After the two had toweled off, they went back up to the treehouse.  
  
"This is a dark day for the G.R.O.S.S." Calvin lamented, looking down from the treehouse as he so commonly did following failure.  
  
"Cheer up, Calvin." Hobbes said. "We did our job." Hobbes then gestured to the surrounding area. "Those members didn't."  
  
"You're right." Calvin stated, quickly regaining his composure. "You, the flank that was supposed to follow, you're kicked out! As for the two of us who went, I give two bottle caps of valor to each member."  
  
"YES!" Hobbes smiled.  
  
"Hopefully, you other men will learn from this mistake."  
  
Suddenly, a voice was heard from behind. It was Susie, and she was carrying a hose. "Oh, Calvin..." she began as Calvin and Hobbes drew back in horror.  
  
"Make a note, Hobbes. We need towels up here."  
  
"Noted." Hobbes replied. 


End file.
